Sunday, December 16, 2007

The psychology of gains and losses

There are more people who are worried about being poor than there are people wanting to get rich.

People feel more upset about investment losses than happy about investment gains. Some investors actually feel content with any gain while cannot tolerate losses.

Ironically, this is the product that people tend to want to buy at high price while sell or turn uninterested when the price is low.

Sunday Blues

What matters?

A lot of time it's not the intellect or hard work that makes a difference, but just contacts and timing. Of course, all four are necessary for big successes, but too often the connection and timing make or break accomplishments.

The other way to look at it is you can control intellect and hard work, while contacts and timing you have less control over. When it comes to adding value to others or this world, there is a place for people who make the right kind of connections and influence decisions. All too often, people use that as a short cut though. I guess the fact that we know about this fact means it's a fair game. It's just our choice whether to leverage it or not.

Monday, July 23, 2007

年輕人應有六個理財觀

2007年7月24日

【明報專訊】理財,或要學懂理財,是人生中重要的一步。可是,並不是每個人都能夠順順利利地學習及體驗何為正確的理財之道,否則,這個世界又怎會有這麼多破產、負債、碌爆卡等等的問題?要用這麼沉重的代價去買一個學好理財的教訓,也未免太過不值得,所以,從小開始培養正確的理財意識,才是不二之法。

不同年紀的人,在學習理財上應用不同的方法,小學、中學及大學都是人生不同的階段,理財的需求並不一樣。在中學階段的青年人應怎樣去理解理財呢?早前花旗集團與東華三院合作,推出一本理財工具書《你才‧理財——致富6原則》,與中學階段的年輕人分享理財的價值觀。

《你才‧理財——致富6原則》一書內,除了有多位名人、專業人士等分享各自的理財經驗及心得,另一個精彩的部分,是為去年舉辦的「營人智叻」理財教育體驗計劃作了一個總結,歸納出6個年青人應有的理財價值觀,家長也不妨依循這6個方向,與年青子女一同研究與討論。

1.理想
談理財,最重要是有理想,有目標。這個「目標」,並不是單單指「想買什麼」,而是對將來生活的「目標」。未來的生活要怎樣過?要大富大貴,還是生活無憂?定下了清晰的目標,然後朝目標進發,努力實踐,這就是美好生活的開始。

2.勤勉
有了目標、有了理想,也不能只是空談。將「成為百萬富翁」經常掛在嘴邊,是何等容易,但也必須要付諸實行,目標才能成真。成為百萬富翁,也要確切地去努力工作、積極儲蓄,能夠以毅力去支持實際行動的人,成功的機會會更大。

3.負責任
面對五花八門的誘惑,就算儲到錢,最後也可能花在一些無謂的地方,讓達成目標的時間又延長了。人要對自己的承諾負上責任,為未來的生活好好計劃,有了這種責任心,就以可抵抗「現在要先享受」的誘惑。

4.自我裝備
自我裝備,就是要好好學習相關的知識及技巧。理財是要經過實踐、經驗累積、甚至從失敗中學習。除了理財的第一步:儲蓄之外,如何保住已儲得財富、要如何為資金增值、怎樣有效地管理資金等,都是需要多聽多看不斷學習的過程。

5.自我控制
要懂得及要成功控制自己的欲望,是很難的一件事,但難也一定要做到。因為人的欲望無窮,卻能力有限,只顧滿足自己的欲望,往往就會只顧得了現在而影響了他日的生活。正確的理財觀念、學習理財技巧等,都是幫助抗拒誘惑的方法。

6.慷慨
慷慨不等同於「大花筒」,不是等如要去亂花錢。懂得運用財富,而不是被金錢牽鼻子走。當我們生活無憂,我們應該慷慨地去幫助一些有需要的人,你會發現,你是付出了金錢,但卻換來了一些金錢買不到的東西,得到心靈上的滿足。

Thursday, July 12, 2007

你真的可以很自在

米蘭昆德拉有一本書叫「生活在他方」,我對這五個字有很好的聯想,
我的生活總是在遠方,都在想: 如果明天我有錢,我就可以......。

但是
如果你現在賺少錢不快樂,就算你有再多的錢,我保證你也不會快樂;
如果你一個人的時候不會自得其樂,即使嫁了人,娶了老婆,別人跟你一起一樣不快樂;
如果現在不懂得享受生活,未來也不會享受生活。

有人問什麼叫做自由,所謂的自由就是:
你想要拒絕一個人的約會, 已經不需要任何理由,你有權力過自己要過的生活,有權力去自己要去的地方。


男人跟女人都很喜歡在自己的人生設一個 deadline,比如說:
我25歲一定要結婚, 26歲一定生孩子, 30歲時一定要一男一女, 31歲的時候一定要有房子,所以很多決定就很草率。

如果剛開始你找的那個人就不對,往後再怎麼努力都不對;
有時候,我們常常會覺得婚結了,所有問題就沒了,那如果結了婚還有問題,就趕快把小孩生一生,其實你的問題在這個階段沒解決,在下個階段只會變大;

你對未來不用期待太多,期待太多......老實說挫折感會很深,不如看看你現在做什麼事情,會讓你覺得很自在,吸收到很多的東西,那個時候你才會覺得人生真的很充實。

另外,一個人如果太努力在活給別人看,就會痛苦得不得了,
今天如果你相信自己做得還不錯,不在乎別人怎麼看你的時候,你真的可以很自在。

知道自己 「有限」的聰明

有一個聰明的男孩,有一天媽媽帶著他到雜貨店去買東西,老闆看到這個可愛的小孩,就打開一罐糖果,要小男孩自己拿一把糖果。但是這個男孩卻沒有任何的動作。幾次的邀請之後,老闆親自抓了一大把糖果放進他的口袋中。

回到家中,母親很好奇的問小男孩,為什麼沒有自己去抓糖果而要老闆抓呢?小男孩回答得很妙:「因為我的手比較小呀!而老闆的手比較大,所以他拿的一定比我拿的多很多!」

默想:
—這是一個聰明的孩子,他知道自己的有限,而更重要的,他也明白別人比自己強。
—凡事不只靠自己的力量,學會適時的依靠他人,是一種謙卑,更是一種聰明。

失去與擁有

有位企業家在商場上有著驚人的成就。當他在事業達到巔峰的時候,有一天陪同他的父親,到一家高貴的餐廳用餐,現場有一位琴藝不凡的小提琴手正在為大家演奏。

這位企業家在聆賞之余,想起當年自己也曾學過琴,而且幾乎為之瘋狂,便對他父親說:「如果我從前好好學琴的話,現在也許就會在這兒演奏了。

「是呀,孩子,」他父親回答,「不過那樣的話,你現在就不會在這兒用餐了。」

默想:
我們常為失去的機會或成就而嗟歎,但往往忘了為現在所擁有的感恩。

單純的喜悅

有一個小女孩每天都從家裏走路去上學。一天早上天氣不太好,雲層漸漸變厚,到了下午時風吹得更急,不久開始有閃電、打雷、下大雨。小女孩的媽媽很擔心,她擔心小女孩會被打雷嚇著,甚至被雷打到。雷雨下得愈來愈大,閃電像一把銳利的劍刺破天空,小女孩的媽媽趕緊開著她的車,沿著上學的路線去找小女孩,看到自己的小女兒一個人走在街上,卻發現每次閃電時,她都停下腳步、抬頭往上看、並露出微笑。

看了許久,媽媽終於忍不住叫住她的孩子,問她說: 「你在做什麼啊?」
她說:「上帝剛才幫我照相,所以我要笑啊!」

沉思
人們最容易犯的錯就是: 用自己腦袋中的觀念去解釋別人眼中的事物,其實有多少事情是只有一種理解途徑的呢?
朋友們,當你正在用這樣的方式解釋你的身邊發生的一切時,你已經錯過了多少美好的經歷和心靈的體驗。

放棄故定的思維模式,享受多重的人生吧。

Thursday, July 05, 2007

先根深而後葉茂

早些年,我有個鄰居醫生,他很喜歡在自家的大院子裡種樹。但他很少給樹苗澆水,那些樹長得很慢。
有一天,我決定去拜訪一下那個醫生,問他會不會為樹苗長不快而感到擔心。他帶著一種自豪的口氣,給我講了他的絕妙理論。

他 說,如果老是給樹苗澆水,樹根就會習慣於土壤淺層的舒適環境,而且總等著輕易就能得到來自地面的水。因為他不常澆水,樹確實會長得慢一些,但這樣樹根就能 向土壤的深處生長,去那裡尋找水份和養料。因此,這些樹會有很深的根,更能抵抗惡劣氣候的侵襲。他還告訴我,他每天都會拍打這些樹。

後來,我搬到了國外生活,就再也沒有見過他。

又過了幾年,我從國外回來,去看了看先前住過的地方。當我走近那兒時,發現了一片從前沒有的小樹林。
那是一個風大和嚴寒的日子,街上的許多樹都被風吹彎了腰,似乎根本無法與嚴冬抗爭。而當我走進醫生的院子時,我看到了他的樹非常結實;樹幹幾乎紋絲不動,堅強地抵禦著大風。

看到這麼奇妙的結果,我思緒萬千……

每晚睡覺之前,我都會去看一下我的孩子們。我總是為他們祈禱,多數情況下祈求他們的生活能輕鬆一點,少受些挫折與打擊……

我想,是改變一下我的祈求的時候了,因為我知道,孩子們日後的生活定會遇到不計其數的困難和挫折,生活中總會有疾風暴雨,不管我們情願與否。

我將祈求我的孩子們能帶著深“根”成長,這樣他們就能從最最來之不易的地方得到最好的養份。

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Strengths vs. Weaknesses

This is a classical debate - should we work on our strengths or our weaknesses?

Most societies and cultures teach people to work on weaknesses because they are obvious targets for improvement. As we grow up, people would not ask questions on subjects that we do well, but will only pay attention to failing grades or areas that we don't do well. At work, strengths are considered given, and much attention are given to "areas of opportunities". The system rewards being all rounded and to a certain degree, assumes people have to follow a checklist and are not rewarded for bringing unique strengths on the table.

We all have our very special abilities, those things that we are keenly interested in, derive satisfaction from, and are not surprisingly doing very good at. Some of these strengths are more observable, like communication, while others like strategic thinking and relationship building are more difficult to quantify. But when we are in the "zone", we are not guided by external reward systems but simply what makes us a better person.

Professional athletes will tell you that you must focus on your strength in order to be even competitive. Each activity require a certain level of generic skills, but what distinguishes a very good player and a master is the combination of talent and focused effort on maximizing one's talent. And when you compete at the top level, either having talent or working hard is not sufficient.

From a return on effort standpoint, focusing efforts on improving one's strength also make sense. A high performance team will have people with different strengths working at their own best, while being able to collaborate smoothly. A group of generalists will be challenged every way.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

52 Proven Stress Reducers


  1. Get up fifteen minutes earlier in the morning.  The inevitable morning mishaps will be less stressful.

  2. Prepare for the morning the evening before.  Set the breakfast table, make lunches, put out the clothes you plan to wear, etc.

  3. Don't rely on your memory.  Write down appointment times, when to pick up the laundry, when library books are due, etc.

  4. Do nothing which, after being done, leads you to tell a lie.

  5. Make duplicates of all keys.  Bury a house key in a secret spot in the garden and carry a duplicate car key in your wallet, apart from your key ring.

  6. Practice preventive maintenance.  Your car, appliances, home, and relationships will be less likely to break down/fall apart "at the worst possible moment."

  7. Be prepared to wait.  A paperback can make a wait in a post office line almost pleasant.

  8. Procrastination is stressful.  Whatever you want to do tomorrow, do today; whatever you want to do today, do it now.

  9. Plan ahead.  Don't let the gas tank get below one-quarter full; keep a well-stocked "emergency shelf" of home staples; don't wait until you're down to your last bus token or postage stamp to buy more; etc.

  10. Don't put up with something that doesn't work right.  If your alarm clock, wallet, shoe laces, windshield wipers - whatever- are a constant aggravation, get them fixed or get new ones.

  11. Allow 15 minutes of extra time to get to appointments.  Plan to arrive at an airport one hour before domestic departures.

  12. Eliminate (or restrict) the amount of caffeine in your diet.

  13. Always set up contingency plans, "just in case." ("If for some reason either of us is delayed, here's what we'll do. . ." kind of thing.  Or, "If we get split up in the shopping center, here's where we'll meet.")

  14. Relax your standards.  The world will not end if the grass doesn't get mowed this weekend.

  15. Pollyanna-Power!  For every one thing that goes wrong, there are probably 10 or 50 or 100 blessings.  Count 'em!

  16. Ask questions.  Taking a few moments to repeat back directions, what someone expects of you, etc., can save hours.  (The old "the hurrieder I go, the behinder I get," idea.)

  17. Say "No!"  Saying "no" to extra projects, social activities, and invitations you know you don't have the time or energy for takes practice, self-respect, and a belief that everyone, everyday, needs quiet time to relax and be alone.

  18. Unplug your phone.  Want to take a long bath, meditate, sleep, or read without interruption?  Drum up the courage to temporarily disconnect.  (The possibility of there being a terrible emergency in the next hour or so is almost nil.)  Or use an answering machine.

  19. Turn "needs" into preferences.  Our basic physical needs translate into food, water, and keeping warm.  Everything else is a preference. Don't get attached to preferences.

  20. Simplify, simplify, simplify. . .

  21. Make friends with non-worriers.  Nothing can get you into the habit of worrying faster than associating with chronic worrywarts.

  22. Get up and stretch periodically if your job requires that you sit for extended periods.

  23. Wear earplugs.  If you need to find quiet at home, pop in some earplugs.

  24. Get enough sleep.  If necessary, use an alarm clock to remind you to go to bed.

  25. Create order out of chaos. 
    Organize your home and workspace so that you always know exactly where things are.  Put things away where they belong and you won't have to go through the stress of losing things.

  26. When feeling stressed, most people tend to breathe short, shallow breaths.  When you breathe like this, stale air is not expelled, oxidation of the tissues is incomplete, and muscle tension frequently results.  Check your breathing throughout the day,  and before, during, and after high-pressure situations.  If you find your stomach muscles knotted and your breathing is shallow, relax all your muscles and take several deep, slow breaths. 

  27. Writing your thoughts and feelings down (in a journal, or on paper to  be thrown away) can help you clarify things and can give you a renewed perspective

  28. Try the following yoga technique whenever you feel the need to relax. Inhale deeply through your nose to the count of eight.  Then, with lips puckered, exhale very slowly through your mouth to the count of 16, or for as long as you can.  Concentrate on the long sighing sound and feel the tension dissolve.  Repeat 10 times.

  29. Inoculate yourself against a feared event.  Example:  before speaking in public, take time to go over every part of the experience in your mind.  Imagine what you'll wear, what the audience will look like, how you will present your talk, what the questions will be and how you will answer them, etc.  Visualize the experience the way you would have it be.  You'll likely find that when the time comes to make the actual presentation, it will be "old hat" and much of your anxiety will have fled.

  30. When the stress of having to get a job done gets in the way of getting the job done, diversion - a voluntary change in activity and/or environment - may be just what you need.

  31. Talk it out.  Discussing your problems with a trusted friend can help clear your mind of confusion so you can concentrate on problem solving.

  32. One of the most obvious ways to avoid unnecessary stress is to select an environment (work, home, leisure) which is in line with your personal needs and desires.  If you hate desk jobs, don't accept a job which requires that you sit at a desk all day.  If you hate to talk politics, don't associate with people who love to talk politics, etc.

  33. Learn to live one day at a time.

  34. Every day, do something you really enjoy.

  35. Add an ounce of love to everything you do.

  36. Take a hot bath or shower (or a cool one in summertime) to relieve tension.

  37. Do something for somebody else.

  38. Focus on understanding rather than on being understood; on loving rather than on being loved.

  39. Do something that will improve your appearance.  Looking better can help you feel better.

  40. Schedule a realistic day.  Avoid the tendency to schedule back-to-back appointments; allow time between appointments for a breathing spell.

  41. Become more flexible.  Some things are worth not doing perfectly and some issues are fine to compromise upon.

  42. Eliminate destructive self-talk:  "I'm too old to. . .,"  "I'm too fat to. . .," etc.

  43. Use your weekend time for a change of pace.  If your work week is slow and patterned, make sure there is action and time for spontaneity built into your weekends.  If your work week is fast-paced and full of people and deadlines, seek peace and solitude during your days off.  Feel as if you aren't accomplishing anything at work?  Tackle a job on the weekend which you can finish to your satisfaction.

  44. Worry about the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves."  That's another way of saying:  take care of the todays as best you can and the yesterdays and the tomorrows will take care of themselves.

  45. Do one thing at a time.  When you are with someone, be with that person and with no one or nothing else.  When you are busy with a project, concentrate on doing that project and forget about everything else you have to do.

  46. Allow yourself time - everyday - for privacy, quiet, and introspection.

  47. If an especially unpleasant task faces you, do it early in the day and get it over with, then the rest of your day will be free of anxiety.

  48. Learn to delegate responsibility to capable others.

  49. Don't forget to take a lunch break.  Try to get away from your desk or work area in body and mind, even if it's just for 15 or 20 minutes.

  50. Forget about counting to 10.  Count to 1,000 before doing something or saying anything that could make matters worse.

  51. Have a forgiving view of events and people.  Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world.

  52. Have an optimistic view of the world.  Believe that most people are doing the best they can.